Celebrating an all-natural lifestyle

Raw Rehab: Dealing with Social Discomfort

Hello, friends.

TGIF. This was a long week, and I’m ready for it to be over. The highlight? Attending the opening of my mom’s current art exhibit, Illuminations, showing at First Street Gallery in Manhattan. The opening was a success, and I was so, so proud of my mother, who has been a working artist (as well as a full time art teacher) for over forty years! Here’s a little peek at what was hanging on the walls:

Go mom!

Because of the commotion surrounding the show, as well as some unrelated family sadness this week (my mom’s boyfriend’s son passed away after a struggle with cancer), I haven’t had time to devote to much un-cooking. So instead of posting a recipe today, I thought I’d check in with a little Q+A. Raw rehab, anyone?

This question comes from reader Alex, who asked:

I am newly vegan, as of March 1st, (eating a high-raw, vegan diet) and my question is about how you handle your difference in eating habits in social situations. I have become much more secure in my lifestyle choice (it doesn’t bother me anymore when people at work make comments about how healthy I eat), but I still can’t bring myself to tell my friends (who have known me before I was vegan) that I am now vegan. For some reason, I feel like I will be judged, but more so, that I will become a nuisance. A couple of my friends love to have dinner parties, and they usually make set menus – I have skipped the past 3 because I can no longer eat anything that they make, and I don’t want them to have to make something “special” for me. I think food and eating with others creates a natural social bond, and I can’t help but feel that I will be completely left out of that if I bring my own food to these dinner parties – how can I share how much I like the pot roast or the chocolate torte, if I’m not eating it? It’s not that I want to eat these foods, because believe me, I do not; rather, it’s the social bond that I will miss from eating these types of food with people I love. How have you and other readers dealt with the social pressures that occured when you first became raw/vegan?

Great question, Alex. I should preface my answer by saying that this is something I’ve touched on before, most notably in this post. But your question certainly brings to mind some immediate impressions.

My personal response is that I’m not particularly accustomed to feeling much social cohesion surrounding food. I stopped eating meat when I was a child, in a family of meat eaters; I was disordered on and off throughout high school, and still very food-conscious in college; on top of all of this, I’ve always been a picky eater, and there are certain ubiquitous foods–like onions and garlic–that I don’t enjoy much at all. The upshot? For me, the bond between social belonging and food is not a very strong one.

Now, you have to take that statement with a grain of salt: now that I eat with joy (as opposed to my fraught past), I can understand far better what people mean when they talk about collective dining experiences. Now that I’ve found a way of eating that suits my body perfectly, I can share it with the people I love. And of course, I’m no stranger to the joys of dinner parties or delicious restaurant meals. In spite of always having been an eater who was different, I’ve certainly had great restaurant meals with friends, and have attended fun dinner parties and given compliments to the chef. I work in an industry that runs on lunching, and so I also know what it’s like to do business over a tablecloth. Best of all, I’ve had the pleasure of sharing vegan foods with fellow vegans and non-vegans alike  in recent years, and it has definitely shown me how lovely it is to bond over a dish.

So I know what people mean when they talk about bonding over food. It’s just not something that I’ve experienced to the same degree as others, which means that I don’t yearn for it strongly. It’s not hard for me to go through life as a person who doesn’t eat what everyone else is eating, or does eat things that other people find off-putting. To be quite blunt, I don’t really care if people think how I eat is weird. Making peace with food, and finding a diet that was ideal for me, was a winding road. Now that I’ve reached a happy destination, I don’t much care how others perceive me.

There’s another thing going on here: I feel my best physically eating as I do. I don’t suffer from IBS anymore, and my health is vibrant. When I repeatedly eat foods that don’t agree with me–like processed foods or refined grains–I don’t feel as great. They’re totally fine once in a while, but not habitually. Which makes it extremely easy for me to eat the way I like to eat, even when it means eating things that other people aren’t. I prefer feeling great to the momentary pleasure of eating something that’s stimulating, but without nourishment. That’s just me: I’m an energy junkie, and a health nut. I eat accordingly.

Finally, there’s veganism. What began as a means of feeling better has now become a lifestyle I believe in spiritually and ethically, too.  It’s hard for me to enjoy a chocolate torte (to use your example) if I don’t really believe in the circumstances under which that torte was created. To me, the essence of a shared dining experience is shared pleasure; how can that be if one person at the table feels cognitive dissonance or discomfort with what he or she’s eating?

This is all a lot of personal stuff, I know. But the upshot, Alex, is this: it sounds to me as though you, like me, have crossed a bridge you don’t want to un-cross: you believe in veganism, and want to be a vegan. And you’re dedicated enough to veganism that “making exceptions” won’t feel good to you.

So far, you’ve handled this by avoiding certain social dining: in your mind, if  you can’t partake of a collective experience, the whole thing isn’t worth it. But what I’m trying to gesture at here is that the key to resolving some of this tension in your life may simply be a reconsideration of your notion of the “social bond” from which you fear exclusion.

What is that bond, really? In my mind, it’s not shared food so much as shared feelings: amusement, joy, sensual pleasure at the taste of food, mutual admiration. There’s really no reason why such feelings have to reside in the food itself. If you happen to bring a fun, high-raw vegan dish to a dinner party, and serve it right alongside your friends’ food (which is what I’d recommend for such an occasion), can’t you all still express your enjoyment? Can’t you all savor a good meal, even if the meal itself varies from plate to plate? Isn’t the expression of gastronomic pleasure what counts, rather than the specific food that bestows such pleasure?

What you’re really seeking to preserve are those feelings of conviviality. And they don’t have to be tethered to specific foods: what they should be tethered to is a feeling of collective joy–joy that comes from each person feeling 100% happy about what he or she is eating.

And here’s the best part: if your friends see that you’re experiencing pleasure right alongside them, they won’t think to criticize or ostracize you. I promise! What I find time and time again is that the key to being comfortable as a vegan in social scenarios is simple, unassailable confidence. If you bring a fun dish and share it with your friends; if you describe what you’re eating with a sense of enthusiasm; if you talk about your veganism in language that’s confident and positive, there will be simply no reason for anyone to make you feel excluded. And any friend of yours who would try to exclude you from the experience of a shared meal, simply because your diet is a little different, is missing the point of what dinner parties are all about.

I hope this helps, Alex. Finding your “vegan mojo,” as I like to call it, takes some time: you won’t feel 100% comfortable expressing your preferences all at once. But I do think that reminding yourself of what’s really at stake in a shared dining experience–that is, mutual respect and the shared desire for pleasure–can help you to feel less afraid of expressing yourself.

One more thing: it’s often hard for new vegans to tell old friends about the vegan shift because of shared history. You know your friends remember you from way back when, in the the days when veganism wasn’t even a glimmer in your consciousness. Won’t they “see through” this new identity of yours?

In a word, no. Any decent friend will accept that you are an ever-changing, ever-shifting being. Consciousness is always in flux, and identity is always in flux, too. Any friend who wants you to remain the same forever–especially if you’re taking a direction that, for you, signals growth and improvement–is probably threatened by the idea of evolution. And that’s a friend whose love you’ve got to question, or whose insecurity you ought to feel pity for.

Hope this helps. Stay the course! And congrats on your vegan journey

Keep the questions coming, guys. I love answering!

Have a great start to your weekends.

xo

Coming Home to Something Sweet

Hey guys!

Thanks for the lovely words about my travel adventures. It was fun sharing them all with you!

So here I am, back in the rhythms of everyday life. Can’t say it feels anything but wonderful. The next time any of you catching me whining about being overworked, I’d like you to please remind me that I love my two jobs more than anything in the world. Appreciate it. Thanks.

I promised you all a new recipe this week, and I hope I’ll have a chance to oblige. But in case I can’t, let me at least share with you a lovely salad that I munched last week, during my 24 hour hiatus from traveling here in the city. This came to me solely out of convenience. Close inspection of my fridge and pantry revealed that, in the category of salad-worthy items, I had:

• Greens
• Pistachios
• Carrots

…oh wait, that was it. I’d was ready to travel, and thus I’d let my stock of produce evaporate. Then I remembered that I still had some of the lovely Vivapura figs I’d mentioned before. I thought I’d marry them with my other ingredients for a slightly sweet lunchtime creation. As much as I’m not really a dessert person, I love sweet/savory food combos and dishes, so I suspected this would hit the spot. And it did.

The recipe is simple: a clean salad with a sweet/salty vinaigrette. The salad is full of texture, dotted with chewy figs and crunchy walnuts. And although it’s very light, it offers up lots of satisfaction: the figs and dressing satisfy a sweet tooth, while the pistachios provide minerals and vitamin B6, which has proven helpful in preventing anemia. They’re also a great source of healthy fats for satiety.

Gena’s Pistachio and Fig Salad (serves 1)

For the salad:

3-4 cups mesclun greens or spinach
1 oz pistachios
3 dried figs, chopped

For the dressing:

1 tbsp walnut or macadamia oil (if you haven’t got a nut oil, just use olive)
1 tbsp apple cider vinegar
1 tbsp agave
Salt/pepper to taste

Throw salad ingredients together. Whisk the dressing ingredients till emulsified, and pour about 1-2 tbsp (I used 2) over salad. Toss gently, and enjoy!

Along with some carrots + Futters walnut butter (thanks, Liz!) this was a lovely and unbelievably simple lunch.

Speaking of sweet and savory, I’d worked that theme into my midweek NYC sojourn breakfast, too. I was torn between my green eggs and hmmm, and chocomole on toast (a spinoff of my vegan Nutella), and so I thought, why choose? I ended up mashing half of a large avocado onto sprouted bread, and mixing the other half with cacao and a bit of stevia to make a quick chocomole. The two variations of avocado mush went onto two slices of bread, for a perfect and satisfying sweet/savory breakfast.

Why choose, indeed!

There are many nice things about returning home after a trip: the presence of friends and family (hi Mom!), the smell of one’s own apartment, lording your tan over pallid coworkers…the list goes on. Right at the top of that list is the joy of fresh, unfussy, and homey food. Being back in my kitchen is very, very sweet.

xo

Sun, Suppers, and Sublime: Florida Pt. Two

Greetings, all! I’m home!!!

Words do not begin to express my joy at being back. To me, the best part of any trip, anywhere, is coming back to my life NYC. Travel’s nice and all, but no adventure beats the adventure of living and working in the Big Apple. Period.

So where was I? Last time we talked, I think I was just recapping my fabulous dinner at Escopazzo. Well, that dinner was not my last at the restaurant, but lots of fun transpired in between. I spent my mornings in Hollywood running along the famous boardwalk:

And spent my afternoons doing this:

I may be married to the streets of Manhattan till death do us part, but I’ve got an inner sun worshipper, and she loves to be indulged.

What was I eating at the beach, you ask? Great question! Most of my mornings began with sprouted bread and raw hemp or almond butter; vegan overnight oats and blueberry-banana smoothies also made appearances. Packing for the beach was a bit trickier; as I mentioned in my last post, eating on the go as a vegan who likes raw food isn’t always a cinch; fresh veggies don’t enjoy spending hours in backpacks and beach bags under the sweltering sun. For that reason, I made it my first order of business on Friday to arm myself with some transportable greens. Enter Averie’s kale chips!

This was my first kale chip experience! I’ve wanted to make them for ages, and promising Mike’s Mom a quick and easy dehydrator tutorial afforded me a good excuse. This was a simple a process as can be. I began with a big bunch of curly kale:

…and I followed Averie’s “coating” recipe, which was inspired by a Matthew Kenney recipe, nearly to a T. I substituted cherry tomatoes for bell peppers, since that’s what I had on hand.

It’s a cashew, nooch, date, salt, lemon, tomato blend that looks something like this:

Making the chips simply involves smothering the raw kale with the divine cashew goo, and mushing it all together (not unlike making massaged kale salad, though messier). Smothered kale went onto a dehydrator tray and was put into the machine at 105 for 7 hours (overnight). They emerged looking and tasting divine!

Mike’s Mom and I agreed that the recipe was perfection. Thanks, Averie, for the inspiration!

My beach lunches, then, consisted of varying combinations of the following:

• Kale chips
• Pure/Prana/Larabars
• Tons of bagged carrots, celery, and cucumber slices, kept as close to the bottom of our backpack as possible for coolness
• Celery sticks with individual servings of raw nut butter
• Homemade raw trail mix
• Raw brazil nuts
• Lots of water

I would have loved some avocados to transport, but alas, we didn’t have any on hand.

The beach was dreamy, but the real highlight of Friday was a blogger meetup I’d been eagerly anticipating for weeks: dinner at Sublime with Melissa!

I’ve been reading Melissa’s blog for a long time, and I can’t think of many bloggers who are more honest, thoughtful, and fun than she. It’s been especially special to watch her write more openly about her eating disorder recovery in recent months; for those of you who visit her blog, check out the “side notes” tab for her more contemplative posts on the recovery process. It’s no easy task to bare one’s soul in discussing emotional struggles of any kind, and Melissa does it with courage and a genuine desire to help others who suffer. I applaud her, and I’m lucky to have met the woman behind the words!

Sublime is one of South Florida’s most well known vegan dining destinations. With its accessible menu and lavish decor, it’s a fun experience that seems to appeal to both vegans and omnis (Melissa and I had a hunch that the place was packed with at least 50% omnivores).

Check out that indoor waterfall action!

It features a seriously extensive and fancy menu:

With dishes that are both creative and familiar. There’s a whole list of sushi rolls and vegan pizzas, as well as filling entrees and sides:

No wonder it took us ages to decide on what we wanted! As we deliberated and chatted, we were charmed by the antics of our theatrical waiter, who nicknamed me “the seductress.”

Not sure why.

He also treated us to a magnificent amuse-bouche: basil polenta squares.

If these were meant to set the tone of the meal, well then, they were a success. Melissa and I were swooning over how good they were! Can you tell my tastebuds are dancing?

When we finally got around to ordering, Melissa and I were proud of ourselves for sampling a fairly broad range of menu items! We began with the “frito misto,” which were crispy cauliflower in a sweet chili sauce:

These were really tasty, but not totally for me. They were on the fried side (I guess they put the frito in frito misto), and also a little reminiscent of sweet and sour chicken, a childhood takeout dish I do not recall with fondness. The dish was also pretty huge, and we were both eager to save our appetites, so we didn’t have too much. With all of that said, I think the fact that the cauliflower did taste so much like traditional Chinese-American staple cuisine probably works in its favor when appealing to mainstream eaters, and any dish that helps people to warm up to veganism gets two big thumbs up from me!

We also got grilled asparagus, which were smoky and delicious, but still crisp. Perfect!

Next up, the main courses. I was craving vegan sushi, so I ordered two rolls. The first was the “dynamite roll,” made with Veganaise, asparagus, capers, and cucumber. The restaurant graciously made it without onion for me!

The verdict? Yummy. The veganaise was kept to a bare minimum (which was good for me, since I’m not a huge fan), and I loved the clean flavors. My second roll was even better! This was the quinoa roll, which was quinoa, carrots, and cucumber. Melissa (consummate sushi chef that she is), noted how remarkable it was that they managed to get quinoa to hold together in a roll, since it’s not very sticky. I agreed, and vowed that I’d soon learn how to make this happen in my kitchen:

My final entree component was the wonderful chopped salad: tomatoes, romaine, cukes, peppers, olives, and chickpeas, dressed with olive oil and lemon:

We both adored this! The only issue was that the salad first arrived swimming in dressing. I’m no shrinking violet when it comes to dressing: I like it a lot, and actually find it sort of annoying when people act as though oil is going to bite. But there are limits, and drippy greens are my upward limit. Thankfully, the restaurant didn’t mind sending out a lightly dressed second portion, and in split timing, too. Thank you, Sublime!

For her part, Melissa went for the “margherita classico” pizza, made with fresh tomato sauce and vegan ‘rella. I tried it and thought it was great–especially the handmade whole wheat crust!

This was perfect timing, since Melissa had a long run planned for the next morning, and she tends to choose pizza as a pre-race meal.

In all, it was an awesome dinner. I’d probably have tweaked a few little things: for example, using brown rice in the dynamite roll instead of white. But I love that Sublime offers eaters of all varieties an experience that feels tasty, welcoming, and desirable–not to mention service and decor that’s truly special.

And I especially loved the company. Melissa is a gem — so sweet, smart, and genuine — and I hope I get to have her in town for an NYC dinner soon. Here are our end-of-meal outtakes!

With flash (ew, but at least our features are visible):

Thanks, Melissa, for driving all the way to Ft. Lauderdale to share this lovely meal with me!

The weekend ambled on, punctuated with sun, with lavishing attention on Mike’s dog, and with long walks around the marina. On Saturday night, Mike and I drove into South Beach for a movie, and we decided to make a second stop at Escopazzo. Once was not enough, especially since I was dying to try the lasagna that Mike’s Mom had ordered on my first trip there! I started with a baby arugula, red kale, and sprout salad:

And helped myself to the spectacular cashew, zucchini, and tomato lasagna, which was adorned with shitake mushrooms this time, too!

It was wonderful.

On Sunday morning, I woke up early to jog down to Josh’s farmer’s market on the Hollywood boardwalk, which numerous readers and Tweet pals had recommended. I knew it would be sad to visit without being able to purchase any wonderful local produce–I was, after all, about to fly home–but I wanted to at least witness and support the farmer’s market in writing.

It was every bit as wonderful as I’d been led to believe! Gorgeous local fruits and avocados:

Crucifers galore:

Greens as far as the eye could see:

Sprouts:

Shrooms:

And roots:

As well as a truly awesome selection of raw nuts and dried fruit, all at reasonable prices! I helped myself to some almonds, dried apples, and dried pineapples to snack on before my flight later that day:

I also scoped out the juice bar. I wanted a juice like no other, but they were priced on the steep side: all $8.00 and $9.00! I totally respect that they’re organic and local, but this was above my travel budget, so I sadly moved along.

As I made my way home, I tried to erase the smell of fresh durian from my nose (durian smoothies had been on the menu). It’s a fruit I have an especially hard time getting friendly with. Probably because it smells like onion to me. (Shudders at her desk).

In the afternoon, Mike and I made our way back to South Beach for some last hours in the sun. We decided to have lunch outside on the fabulous see-and-be-seen Lincoln Road (which Melissa had recommended, too). We settled on a fun, Turkish-inspired healthy fast food joint called Pasha, which has several Florida locations. It had an awesome menu!

…featuring salads, falafel, hummus, kebabs, and smoothies. I decided to get a large salad with a grilled veggie kebab deconstructed on top:

And a big side of hummus, which I dumped onto the salad along with lots of fresh lemon!

In spite of the fact that my Yaya would berate me for dining in a Turkish restaurant (old rivalries die hard along the Mediterranean shores), the grilled veggies, lemon, and spread, coupled with my tan, made me feel quite Greek. Opa!

A few hours of sun and some street-side veggie juice later, I was on my way to the airport. Edge-of-my-seat enthusiasm for returning to New York waned over the course of a long and exhausting trip home. Apparently there were lightening storms between VA and NY, and we ended up circling Norfolk for two hours before landing to re-fuel, waiting on the tarmac for an hour in sweltering heat, and taking off again. By the time I reached Newark (instead of LaGuardia), it was 3 AM. I waited in line for a $71.00 taxi back to Manhattan in the chilly rain, and fought the urge to rip the cigarettes out of the hand of the woman in front of me (don’t worry, everyone, I resisted).

But today, I woke up in my cozy bed, windows open, horns honking, and garbage trucks ambling along the avenue. New York: it’s music to my ears.

Thanks to everyone who sent supportive tweets last night in the midst of my travel woes, and to you all for following my Chicago and Florida adventures this week. Thanks also to those of you who noticed, via Twitter, that this post went up a few hours ago, was accidentally deleted, and re-posted. Because of your Google readers, I didn’t have to re-write it! Yeesh: between the 3 a.m. landing, the torn jeans (I ripped a hole in my favorite jeans by accident today, and not near a seam, but a blog reader tipped me off to Denim Therapy!) this has been one manic Monday.

I hope to check in this week with a fresh recipe for the first time in two whole weeks, but work may keep me buried. I will do my best! Have a great night, guys.

xo

Guest post: B+P’s Sophia on the Feeding Your Spirit and Mind

Hey all!

Hope you’re all having great weekends! I’m still in Florida, and I’m super excited to present you with my final guest post of my travel week.

Each year, a crop of new food blogs blooms. Last year, I was one of the newcomers. This year, I’ve had the pleasure of watching a group of bright and shiny new blogs come into their own. One of the ones I’ve watched with most pleasure and admiration is Burp and Slurp, the brainchild of the fabulous miss Sophia Lee. With wit, compassion, and hilarity, Sophia writes about food, about life as a student, and about eating disorder recovery, and about her faith.

When I contacted Sophia about a guest post, she said she was surprised: as you’ll see below, she and I have fairly disparate ways of eating! But what unites us is a mutual belief that food is not only vital for survival, but also a means of feeding the spirit and mind. We share a conviction that eating disorders are about far more than the hopeless pursuit of aesthetic perfection or thinness: they are about control (which paradoxically becomes a complete loss of control), about a search for meaning, about cries for love, about alienation and loneliness, about the desire to transcend the limits of physicality, and about so much more. There is no one pathology for eating disorders, but what I am certain of is that they are all diseases of the spirit as much as of the body. Any treatment that doesn’t seek to heal both body and mind isn’t likely to succeed.

As I read Sophia’s wonderful post below, I was alternately reminded of my “what food is not” post and of my “embracing our appetites” post. It seems that yet another thing Sophia and I agree about is that food must fall into a delicate middle ground between spiritual pleasure and simple nutrition (my blog reader Elizabeth also helped me to understand this connection). We can’t fetishize and obsess, and yet we must also heed stripping food of pleasure and meaning. To negotiate this strange, liminal zone–between fixation and joylessness, between obsession and apathy, between caring too much and caring too little–is a challenge. But it’s one worth taking.

Please welcome the smart, sassy, and sensational Sophia Lee to CR, as she discusses feeding your spirit and mind. Please note that Sophia was mighty trepidatious about concocting a vegan recipe; I’m personally grateful to her for her efforts, since I cannot wait to try this dish!

♦          ♦         ♦

Hello, raw foodists, vegans, vegetarians, flexitarians, pollotarians, pescetarians, ovo-lacto-vegetarians, locavores, omnivores, and…

Oh dear. The list just goes on and on.

Let’s start over again. Hello, fellow humans. This is Sophia from Burp and Slurp. And I’m a human, too. Which apparently has way more categories under it than I can ever remember…but to me, we humans are all the same. We all have a spirit, a mind, and a body. And we need food, for all three of them. But how many of us can honestly say that we feed them all?

Food. It’s not an indulgence; it’s a requirement for survival. It’s the most basic necessity in life, but we humans seem to come across so much trouble and complications with it.

Take me, for example. I’ve gone through every sort of eating disorders under the sun within the last 4-5 years. Anorexia, bulimia, orthorexia, binge-eating, compulsive exercise, spit-and-chew…I’ve done them all. I don’t say this as some kind of twisted accomplishment; I say this with deep sadness that I had once made myself go through such severe starvation and abuse.

Food. Its main purpose is to sustain, to nourish, to provide all the energy we need to perform what we need to do in life. It’s supposed to be something that helps us, enriches us, and strengthens us. So when did it turn into something so horrible and deadly?

I know several of you are immediately thinking about “processed junk food” and “fast food” and “carcasses” and pointing fingers at everyone from parents to the food industries…but let’s re-think this deeper. What is really the problem here? It’s not the physical body. It’s not that that bag of Cheesy Doritos you have hidden under your bed. It’s the neglect of your mental and spiritual sustenance.

You see, you are more than the physical body. I don’t care if you are religious or not—we all agree that we humans need more than material sustenance to live. Live, not survive. To survive means to be physically functioning with the bare minimums of existence. To live means something more.

My hellish experience with eating disorders did not start with skipping meals. I was starving way before that, in my mind and spirit. I was unhappy, dissatisfied, angry, and insecure. But instead of dealing with these issues, I turned to food. Dealing with my problems physically through tangible food seemed so much easier. The control I relished over my eating habits and activities provided a false illusion of happiness and contentment. The gallons of ice-cream I crammed into my mouth late at night temporarily filled the aching emptiness I felt inside.

But no matter how much weight I lost, or how much/little I ate, I returned to square one, again and again. It was never enough. Because the problem wasn’t the lack of physical food. It was the lack of spiritual and mental nourishment.

My recovery did not begin from proper diet and re-feeding. It did not begin with ingesting the “perfect” proportion of carbs, fats, proteins, nutrients. Heck, it actually began after I stopped taking all those nutritional supplements. In fact, I threw away all my preconceived knowledge of nutrition and health food. I stopped counting calories; I stopped analyzing every morsel that touched my lips. I simply…stopped caring so much about the physical food, and focused on my spiritual and mental well being.

Food. There has to be a proper balance. You can’t focus too much on just one particular part of your life. Your spirit, your mind, and your body all needs to be fed properly, because each affects the other in really complex and intricate ways. For myself, the revival in my faith in God pulled me out of my ED hellhole. Instead of turning to food when I was down, I searched for God’s love and mercy. Instead of obsessing over calories, I let my attention draw away to the simple pleasures of enjoying the company of those I love.

Of course, I may be oversimplifying things. There were many, many challenges I had to overcome in the process: facing my fear foods, breaking away from my destructive habits, constant reasoning with my irrational mind…All these battles required tons of energy—energy which I received by spiritually and mentally feeding myself.

Am I totally recovered? I don’t know. It’s been barely a year since I’ve turned away from all my eating disordered obsessions. But I’ve changed into a completely different person. I still face tons of struggles…but they are rarely eating disordered ones. Recovery does not mean that you are now problem-free. No, problems will still always come for the rest of my life…but now, I no longer hide away from them, or deal with them by abusing my body and food.

And that, I think, is one common ground between Gena and me. Honestly, I was a bit surprised when she asked me to do a guest post for her. Honored, but befuddled, because she and I are complete opposite eaters. She eats high raw; I like to cook the heck out of my veggies. She shuns dairy because of digestive issues; I am a self-proclaimed cheese-whore. She avoids meat products for both nutritional and ethical reasons; I pounce on my 99cents/lb hotdogs and dream of all things bacon.

But. We’ve both found our own way of feeding ourselves in the most balanced and perfect way tailored to us. Whether you’re vegetarian or everythingtarian, we all have to eat. But the point is: is physical food dominating your life? Or do you have a fair balance between spiritual, mental, and physical food?

That said, there is no denying that physical food does bring a lot of pleasure. And why shouldn’t it? Food is a gift from God, and we ought to celebrate it, as long as it’s not to the extremes.

So. Gena asked if I can come up with a Koreanized recipe for her, one that is preferably vegetarian. I went one step higher and decided to come up with a vegan recipe. And boy, oh boy…I will never make fun of vegans again. I had a surprisingly hard time coming up with a single vegan recipe! Each time a recipe formed in my head, I could not resist the urge to add some cheese or egg or bacon in there. Even my beloved kimchi is not vegetarian (it’s got shrimp paste and fish sauce)! Dang. Was I humbled!

But a challenge is a challenge, and Sophia Lee never backs down. I set aside my cheese-whore pride and after a few headaches, came up with a dish that is Oh. So. Utterly. Delicious (OSUD), I’ve realized with feverish excitement that there is a whole new fantastic realm of cuisine for me to explore.

Coconut-Walnut Crusted Stuffed Kabocha with Kale, Shitake Mushrooms, and Figs

(yeah, yeah, it’s freaking long. You got a better name than this, smartie pants?)

•    A decently-sized kabocha (or any other winter squash)

•    Korean PB-BBQ sauce (recipe to follow)

•    Sesame oil

•    ¼ chopped onion

•    A bunch of kale

•    Some shitake mushrooms, sliced

•    A handful of dried figs, chopped

•    A handful of walnuts, chopped

•    A small handful of dried shredded coconut

Korean PB-BBQ sauce:

•    Spoonful gochujang sauce

•    Spoonful natural peanut butter (can be chunky or creamy)

•    Spoonful soy sauce

•    Almond milk

•    Small spoonful sweetener, such as Agave Nectar or brown sugar, to taste

A note on gochujang sauce: It’s a Korean fermented red pepper paste. Get it; you won’t regret it. It is the shitz! Seriously, the best stuff ever. You can get super-creative with it. Salad dressing? Tofu marinade? Chili? Dips? The sky is the limit!

Directions:

Cut the kabocha into half, and place it on a baking sheet. Bake for about 30 minutes in a 400 degree oven, or until cooked through. Set aside.

Combine all the ingredients for the Korean PB-BBQ sauce together. Taste and test to your preference. You might want it spicier, or sweeter. Your choice!

In a large skillet, fry up some onions and mushrooms with the sesame oil. Cook for about a minute or two, then add in the kale, figs, and most of the PB-BBQ sauce save for about a spoonful. Sautee for a few minutes until the kale is cooked through, but not wilted to death. Add in half of the walnuts into the mixture and combine.

Fill the kabocha halves with the kale mixture. Combine the remaining walnuts and coconut with the spoonful of leftover PB-BBQ sauce, and press onto the top of the kabochas. Broil for 5-10 minutes until the tops are nicely toasted. Be sure not to let it burn!

To serve, just put the kabocha onto a dish, and sprinkle with more dried coconut for color. This should be able to serve about two, but if you don’t wanna share, I totally understand.

So I’m totally tooting my own horn here, but dang, this was freaking GOOD! Like, OMFG-I-am-in-heaven good. Not even I-can’t-believe-this-is-Vegan good— just plain, freaking delicious.

You don’t actually need to stuff the kale mixture into a kabocha. You can serve it with rice, or barley, or whatever grain you like. You can even cook those grains in coconut milk for added exotic flavor.

I don’t see why this can’t be semi-raw, either. You can probably massage that kale with the Korean PB-BBQ sauce. Perhaps add some chopped green apples, and avocados. A drizzle of toasted sesame oil.

For meat-eaters, I think bacon would be fantastic with it, too (Sorry, Gena!). Top with runny egg, and some feta or goat cheese.

Gena mentioned that she’s a bit shy with spices…but that’s the beauty of gochujang. It’s got some spice, but it’s also got this natural sweetness of red peppers to complement it. Besides, additions like peanut butter really tones down the spiciness. This sauce will convert even the wimpiest spice-phobic person.

Well, that’s it, folks. I’ve babbled enough, and it’s time to go off to my own blog to babble some more. Thank you, dear Gena, for the wonderful opportunity to guest post, and for providing the incentive to venture out to vegan cooking.

But before I leave, please do share: How do you feed your spirit and mind?

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