Beam Green, Take Two, and a Noteworthy Email
Hi all,
Hope you’re enjoying weather as lovely as ours here in NYC, and that you’re gearing up for a nice long weekend.
It’s been a long week for me, punctuated by some very happy news: I got promoted at work! I’ve hoped for this promotion for a while now, so I’m very happy. I’ll be celebrating a bit this weekend, but I had a chance to celebrate by seeing some of my favorite people at the latest Beam Green meeting last night.
If you all didn’t read my first post about Beam Green, do: it’s a wonderful organization here in the city that hosts monthly meetings at Tavern on the Green. I’m a proud member of Team Beam Green, as well as a believer in its cause and a happy guest every month. Each meeting features two guest speakers on health and wellness. Last night’s speakers were Natalia Rose and Dr. Ginger. I didn’t know Dr. Ginger’s work, but now that I’ve seen her speak, I’ll be sure to follow her closely!
Natalia spoke about feeding babies (weeks 12-2 years), and she disclosed her recipe for baby shakes, which are her baby food of choice: one part greens, one part fruit, and one part fat (avo or oil). Naturally, this will sound just like a regular green smoothie to all my raw peeps out there, and it is! It’s simply poured into baby bottles for quick and easy feedings.
Dr. Ginger spoke about grocery store shopping to enhance alkalinity and promote health. It was familiar stuff, but I thought she spoke clearly accessibly, with a mainstream audience in mind. She was energetic, dynamic, and also very lovely! Yet another raw lady with that ubiquitous glow.
The best part of the night, though, was not the wonderful speakers, but my wonderful company! I was joined by Melissa, Heather, and Lauren! It was a delight to have these fellow bloggers as guests, and I’m so glad we all had a chance to hang out. You can check out each of their blogs for recaps. I hope it won’t be the last Beam Green meeting we attend together. Here’s a photo of me onstage (describing my recent battle to make my Mom ditch the Splenda in her coffee!) courtesy of the lovely Heather:
Switching topics, I want to share a special and inspiring recent exchange I had with a blog reader.
You’ve already heard me speak quite extensively about staying true to your beliefs about health and food in the face of convention. I’m passionate about this topic. It’s part of the reason I started blogging: I see so many of my female friends succumbing to peer pressures, family pressures, or convenience when it comes to eating well, neglecting their healthy impulses in order to please their companions or fit in. I encourage you all to resist conventions and norms when it comes to the food you eat and the lifestyle you live. Embrace your own path. This can be whatever you want it to be—vegan, raw, omnivorous, or rawcurious—as long as it’s your own, and no one else’s (certainly not the FDA or USDA’s!). Having a liberated attitude towards health and nutrition sometimes means holding your own against family members, friends, or even medical practitioners. But the payoff (a sense of satisfaction in doing what you know is best for your body) is worth it.
Recently, I got an email from a reader who wrote,
One drawback I find to the vegan lifestyle for me is that it can be socially alienating. A lot of my friends socialize by eating out together or having supper together at home. None of my friends are vegetarian, much less vegan, and certainly not raw! . . . it just seems like I end up being excluded because of my diet. And a lot of people can be downright hostile about it too, unfortunately.
. . . I was just wondering if you had ever come across the problem of feeling left out socially b/c of your diet choices?
I responded,
Good question! I tend to feature activities with my raw or vegan friends on the blog (all friends I’ve met through my raw journey), but the truth is that 80% of my friends and family are omnis. So I do know what you mean. For the most part, my friends have been amazingly supportive. But not all of my friends have been so enthusiastic. (This goes for both my diet and the fact that I don’t drink.)
I think it all boils down to one thing: attitude. The trick is to exude a confident and happy demeanor. I don’t make nervous faces and apologize ten times when I ask a waiter to make a modification to a menu item. I’m warm and sweet, but not anxious or ashamed. I’m not going to go out and pay $20 of money I barely have to sit and eat something I don’t want. And I don’t feel the least bit bad about that! The more you project anxiety or exude a sense of shame about your lifestyle, the more you’ll invite challenges from your peers. It’s crucial to be proud , cheery, and self-assured. Never apologize. You have every right to eat what you want!
And if you really do alienate friends? Honestly, I would never, ever mourn the loss of a friend who became distant or “dropped” me because the way I ate discomfited her. That is, quite simply, nuts. How insecure must someone be to break ties with another person whose eating habits they don’t like? In my experience, women who are made defensive about my eating are grappling with their own issues. That’s their problem, not mine: I’m not going to apologize for a way of life that works for me. And I definitely don’t need so-called “friends” in my life who would alienate me solely because of the food I eat.
Remember, never be preachy or judgmental: always be enthusiastic and warm. If you’re doing that, and friends are still being obnoxious, then it’s definitely them, not you. But nothing matters more than what you put in your body, so be strong!
This was a few weeks ago. Just a few days ago, I’m delighted to have received this follow up:
Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply to my email. I think you are totally right about attitude. If you show confidence in your choice and show your happiness about it, your friends should be supportive. I’ve been more open in telling people about it now and explaining it, whereas before I used to just try to discreetly order my meal with no cheese and hope that no one commented on it. And very good point about real friends being supportive and not threatened by your dietary choices. I had a talk with a good friend of mine who was giving me a hard time, and she apologized. She couldn’t explain why she was giving me a hard time, but she’s really changed her ways for the better.
. . . I’ve been trying to share the raw bandwagon a bit at work. I made some raw cashew cheese and brought it in today. I just shared it with some colleagues, and they thought it was really good!
Thanks again for your advice on my question!!
It warmed my heart to read this story. All the more proof that confidence is key! So be confident! Be strong. You have every right to be proud of healthy choices—be they total lifestyle overhauls or baby steps.
Always remember: you know best what’s right for your body. Be a freethinker, and make your own way.
Have a great night!
xo
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Great post, gorgeous watermelon photo! thanks so much for inviting me last night! I was blown away!
I love the cheese sharing story, sometimes you have to actually let people experience something to truly convince them. I have brought everyone I know to pure food and wine. Even for a first date! Even though PFAW isn’t really an example of what you would eat on a daily basis in the raw lifestyle, it is a super yummy and impressive introduction for skeptics.
I totally agree! It’s not a typical meal, but it shows people the possibilities of raw food.
…and I can’t wait to hit it up tmw!!! xo
Congrats on the promotion. That’s wonderful!
And thank you for sharing this email and your thoughts. I just talked to a raw foodist today about that very topic. It’s so true that we must listen to our bodies and what we need. We are all unique individuals with different needs!
Thanks, Courtney! I love hearing that there are other rawbies out there who face the same issues and stick to their guns too.
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I love your response to this email. I can see how being confident when talking about your food choices can make a world of a difference on how people respond. I’m going to work on being more like that from now on. Thanks for this post and congrats on your promotion!
Thanks so much, Christina!
I love your take on the watermelon issue! I think for me, part of it is thinking, “If I only eat watermelon, I will be hungry later,” which now that I think about it, is ridiculous. If I AM hungry later, I can just get something else. Anyway, it was a great event.
And awesome email. I agree with your point that most people who have a problem with people who eat a certain way with discipline are grappling with their own issues.
It’s so true! I sometimes think that way when I travel (“will this snack be enough to hold me over? Should I eat more?”) and then remember that I can always pick up some fruit or trail mix if I need it!
I loved seeing you! So glad you liked.
YAY for the promotion!!! and also a big YAY for this post, haha. gosh.. that watermelon is making me drool ! Being on the D4W plan made me appreciate fruit more and I’m craving it (sighs)
Hmmm I’m thinking I need to move to NY to get in on the Raw action. attending beam green would be awesome not to mention all the raw restaurants and juice bars
thank you also for the great advice on friends & this lifestyle!
Thanks so much Cammy!!! I hope you DO visit NYC soon!
Congrats on your promotion!
I hope your weekend involves lots of celebration!
Excellent advice at the end of this post!
“You know best what’s right for your body.”
I LOVE that you said this. I think we tend to think that our way is always best, and I NEVER EVER fear that you will judge me or others for not choosing to eat raw 50 or 75 or 100% of the time.
I think its all about trying new things and find what works best for YOU. And no one else can decide that for you.
Thanks Gena!
Of course I’ll never judge you, dear Sarah! I’ll just support you for making your own decisions. Happy weekend
gena, i adore your posts. i really do.
and that photo of the watermelon is incredible!
Thanks so much, Pearl.
Congratulations Gena! I’m so happy for you
Isn’t it an awesome feeling when someone else besides yourself can recognize the abilities you are capable of?
Anyway, I read the letter that one of your readers wrote to you and your response. I agree with you totally on confidence being key. I feel like in American society… exuding confidence is often looked down upon and seen as snobbery. Asking for a customization at a restaurant is seen as a “pain in the butt”. I think it’s sad that people fear that their plates will come to them with some saliva hiding in there somewhere if they ask for what they want.
It’s Friday–I hope you enjoy your weekend and celebrate!
I couldn’t agree more! Americans are often so nervous about being direct and assertive. It baffles me.
So glad you liked the post, and thanks for the kind words.
I really love your blog Gena, I can’t even describe how much I can relate and indentify with everything you say. Love it =)
Oh gosh, Shelby, thanks — that means the world to me! You know I’m such a fan of your blog, too. xo
Again, congrats on your promotion!
You deserve it!
I really enjoyed listening to both speakers, even though a lot was stuff I already know, it was nice to get a “refresher”..very motivating!
Gena,
I am so happy for you and your success in your job. I wish you the best in your new role.
Lyn
I love the part about “fruits and veggies are food”. Just last night, we had steamed corn on the cob and broccoli. Then hubby, not feeling that was adequate made pork chops. He knows that I won’t eat them, but he was quite put out by the fact that neither of our kids wanted them either. He didn’t think that they got a good enough dinner.
And congrats on the promotion.
Hi Gena,
I love your blog… I really needed to read your post. I actually find myself doing the opposite where I am not comfortable being around my friends who have follow the SAD. It’s not that I don’t like them, but I’m too lazy to figure out how to relate to them in ways that doesn’t involve eating peanut butter cups or brownies. I’ll try harder.
I have a question for you about raw soups and sprouted beans. I love split pea and lentil soups, but I’m not sure how to do them raw. I sprouted some split peas and pureed them with some kale, watercress, avocado, salt, pepper and lemon. The taste is… um… not what I’d hoped it would be.
I can seem to find info on this anywhere and I”d appreciate your thoughts.
Thanks!
Oooh, and I forget, congrats on the promotion. You are clearly a very focused person to be able to excel in your career, raw consulting, and blogging. Keep it up!
Thanks so much for this good post, Elizabeth. It’s really hard, at the start, not to let your convictions get the best of you and subsequently alienate yourself from those who don’t share your views! Keep trying and tell me how it goes
OK full confession? I hate sprouted beans. I think they’re hard and starchy and never ever cook with them. So I can’t be of much help! In that situation (since I’m high raw) I would probably cook the lentils and make regular soup. Sorry not to help
And thanks about the promo. I’m really swamped in all areas right now, but I love, love, love all of the things I do.
Thanks Gena! I will keep trying (what’s the point of feeding my insides nourishing food if I’m just going to be rotten to people on the outside? No rotten-ness, it defeats the purpose.
I’m so glad I’m not the only one that finds sprouted beans a bit starchy. They’re ok on salads when there’s a lot of other stuff going on, but as a snack they’re a bit disappointing. On the plus side, if you make a soup from them, it will be the longest meal of your life! It took me over an hour to finish that nutritious soup I made.
Take care and thanks again for all you do!
-E.
Congrats on the promotion. And I love the name Baby Shakes for Green Smoothies. I think I’m gonna start using that instead.
Haha. I like the name too, B!
Congratulations on the promotion! That’s wonderful
As for the rest of yet another amazing post… shoot. I missed another Beam Green meeting! I have got to make next months. Not only do I think that it would be extremely informative but with the blogger representation there, sounds like it would be a fantastic soclal night as well! Also, I found this e-mail conversation very helpful. There’s too many people that worry about not being accepted because of their healthier lifestyle and it’s unfortunate how legitimate that worry is. Best of luck to your reader! They’ll learn about all the goodness they’ve been missing out eventually!
Hey D!
I hope you make it to a meeting really soon! You would be a wonderful contribution to an already awesome group of ladies.
I loved that exchange. It really warmed my heart, and I am tremendously proud of that wonderful reader.
Gena
Lord help me. I’m about to take a bite out of my computer screen. That watermelon looks sooooooo good.
Congratulations on your promotion!! Woo Hoo! Well deserved, of that I am certain.
I had to laugh at the story of Natalia, the kids, and her husband. Made me think of my eldest brother who asked, “Now that you’ve lost all this weight, are you going to start eating REAL food again?”
Lemme see…the stuff that comes in packages and is injected with chemical preservatives and flavorings? Ummm, nope, don’t think so. I’ll stick with that “stuff” that grows right out of mama earth.
Ha, exactly! It’s amazing how society has forgotten what food really is.
Thanks, as ever, for your insightful feedback, EarthMom
Terrific post, Gena. I loved hearing about Natalia Rose and kids… and I loved reading your advice about social implications with diet. Great job!
cheers,
Kristen
Thanks K!
Hi Gena,
CONGRATS!!! That’s so exciting! Awhile ago on your anniversary post you asked for feedback and I meant to comment then and write that I wouldn’t change a thing (except I would be interested in reading book reviews by you, but I understand if you want to keep the two areas separate…maybe health book reviews?). I especially like the event coverage b/c it’s an introduction to different groups I didn’t know existed.
p.s. I also tried to take a class at the Natural Gourmet Institute and it was full
Thank you so much, Shane! I’ll definitely be reviewing some health and fitness books. Hope to see you sometime soon!
Greatings, http://www.choosingraw.com to GoogleReader!
I often deal with the same “alienating” issue being gluten free. Lately, I’ve just stopped caring. If I can’t eat anything, I will just have a beverage and enjoy the company and conversation. It isn’t always easy, but it’s better than missing out!
Thanks for leaving that email exchange-I can totally relate to having trouble with friends when I’m out to eat with them or when they find out about my decision to go vegan. I’ll definitely remember the tips you gave
Stay strong, K! Always remember that you know what’s best for your own body.
Thanks for this post, Gena. Im going to my folks for Memorial Day weekend and will be there for a week. In attempt to avoid creating tension or dealing with everyone’s food issues, I’m thinking I should just eat what is served (like a “good” guest would) and just DEAL. I can get back to my lifestyle when I get home. I feel like it’s just not worth it imposing my needs/wants, which seem restrictive to many, on my parents. If I tell them I want to eat X, they will probably think I’m starving myself or have some type of eating disorder (I do not currently- I’ve had very restrictive diets in the past however where I did end up losing too much weight for my build. So I feel they will assume I’m restricing again and get very argumentative and tell me they are worried about me going EXTREME.) I have zero intention of losing weight right now- I’m at a healthy weight and would like to maintain. But do I have to bring this up with them?
Also, I’m wondering if you could please shed light on your past digestive issues. Mine is bloating and constipation- and I’m wondering if a raw diet could help this. I can go through my day eating tons of fruit, veggies, whole grains (Rinse, Repeat) and I just end up MORE backed up and bloated. For days. Sometimes even weeks. That can’t be healthy.
Thanks for any feedback you have. Love your attitude!
Hey Ashley,
Thanks for this honest comment.
I think that knowing whether to “go with the flow” or stick to your guns is entirely personal — if you feel that it will be easier and less tense for you and your family to be flexible, then go for it! It’s really all about what works for you. For me, maintaining my diet at all times proves best for me, and my family and friends have learned to accept it, but that took some time and practice.
My issues were similar, and stemmed from fairly sever IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). Raw foods certainly helped. The About Me tab says more about my path to health.
Gena
Dear Gena!
I loved this post. So true about adding things to meals just because we’ve been told or raised that it is the “right” way to eat. Some of my family thinks I am crazy and weird and doesn’t understand why I choose this way to eat– asking me questions such as “but how do you get your calcium?, etc”
I loved what you said about social situations. I am not as blessed as you to live somewhere that has raw food restaurants that serve something I can eat ( jealous you can purchase pressed juice too!!) and so I always bring my own meal. I’m confident and not embarrassed (even though I get funny looks for my portable cooler and ice packs!) I usually get questions and “ohhs and ahhs” and “can I have a bite?” because people are interested to see what someone who “can’t eat anything” eats! I’ve introduced SO many people to massaged kale salads. Healthifying the world one bite at a time!
Have a wonderful weekend sweet pea
Ps- No more ice cream food porn. Promise.
Love your attitude, CoconutGal, as always! And I love that you bring dishes and act confident. I always bring dishes to dinner parties, and it’s always a huge success.
Happy wkd…:)
Gena,
Another wonderful post. I loved both your and Natalia’s thoughts on fruit and vegetables as a meal. I often just want a big bowl of greens or steamed veggies but always feel like I need to add something to it. Why? Such a good point. I’ve gotten better about just eating what I want, but this was really refreshing to read. Also, your response to your reader was great. Such good advice.
Hope you’re having a good weekend and congrats on your promotion!!!!
I’m so glad I got to meet you yesterday! You are sooo inspirational. I am really excited to follow your blog and to learn from you and your lifestyle choices. I love the comment you made about people thinking veggies and fruit aren’t “real food”. I totally agree with you in that we need to change our way of thinking about food and the nourishment that comes from veggies and fruit. So, thank you for that. You have truly inspired me:)
Oh, Brooke, thanks so much! I loved meeting you and can’t wait to explore your blog!!
Congrats on the promotion! I haven’t been reading long enough to know but I hope your work is related to your passion of food and healthy living!
I find that as long as I’m not judgemental of my friends’ food choices and maintain a sense of humor then they are fine with mine.
Amazing! Thanks so much for this Gena! I’m just starting to experiment with my health- diet/raw foods, nixing drinking, etc. and usually find myself making vague, uncomfortable excuses to avoid awkward situations in social settings. This gave me a great little reality check! Love.
Congrats on the promotion! Well deserved, I’m sure!
-diana
Thanks so much, Diana! I’m glad you find this helpful. Stay true to yourself — it is always worth it.
Hi, cool post. I have been wondering about this topic,so thanks for writing.
Hi, good post. I have been wondering about this issue,so thanks for posting. I’ll definitely be coming back